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stagegremlin @ 11:41 pm: Challenge One! (850 words)

The Vice President of sales had decided that all of his subordinates needed new chairs when he had had to go down to their offices to see a new pitch that was so elaborate that it couldn’t be brought to his office. The state of the chairs was so disgraceful that they NEEDED new ones IMMEDIATELY. The order went out that afternoon from purchasing to Laz-E-boy for twenty new state-of-the-art desk chairs, ASAP!

The chairs arrived in the mail room three days later via large truck. The staff in the mail room stopped the all important work they were doing and started assembling chairs.

The chair first realized it was a chair during the assembly process. Prior to the wheels being attached it had decided it wanted to be a surf board and go to California and bask in the sun. The wheels changed that. With wheels it became more ambitious and decided that being a race car would be much more exciting. But the addition of the arms and back sealed its fate. It was to be a chair.

Soon there were many disgruntled chairs congregating in the hallway outside the mail room.

"I could have been an airplane! Look at my sleekness!"
"I could have lifted cars, see my hydraulics?"
"I wanted to race real fast!"

Soon they were being herded up by a young man who seemed bent on kicking each one in particular with a different expletive at every impact.

"Take them up to sales!" screamed a voice from the mail room. The young man glared at the open door and started to push the protesting chairs towards the elevator.

"Oh no! Where do you think they are taking us!" one chair screamed in a voice that the young man thought might best be fixed by a bit of WD-40.

"I don’t know but look! The ones in front are going into that little room!"

"The door is closing! Will we be left behind? Should we make a run for it?" There was much argument following this question, argument enough that the verdict was too late in being reached for the door soon opened again. "They are gone!" A still silence followed as the young man stepped out of the elevator and started loading the second half of the batch.

Silently they waited in the elevator for the doors to open.

Finally the doors opened and the young man violently pushed the chairs out into the brightly lit hallway. On one side was a cement wall with 'inspirational' quotes on it, the other side was ominously colored cubicles.

The young man left part of the group just out side the elevator and started herding off five of the chairs towards the cubicles with such force that all the chairs could do was take in a last look at their peers before they were whisked out of sight to their DESKS.

The last chair to be migrated tried as hard as it could to be ornery, catching on every last obstacle in its path, twisting and resisting each step, finally it reached its DESK.

The current occupier of the desk was a rather large woman who was snacking on potato chips from a bag that she kept in the upper drawer of the dreaded desk. She happily exclaimed at the sight of the new unspoiled chair and pushed her old worn chair at the young man who took it in the opposite direction.

The chair bared its load for the day and a week of days, until finally it had had enough of the greasy hands and the sweaty feet. It had had enough of listening to her masticate and laugh at her email. It had had enough of being violently pushed around and squished. It had had enough of being a chair.

It silently slipped out of the cubical at night, carefully avoiding all the corners that sought to trip it up and made its way to the elevator. The elevator posed a problem, how does it open? The chair lightly tapped on the panel next to the elevator and lights came on! Soon the door opened and the chair slipped in.

Silently the chair rode the elevator to all the floors until it found the one that looked like the first hallway. It crept out, looking both ways around the door for the young man, but he was no where in sight. It rolled down the hallway, going past the mail room door towards the big doors out back where a fresh breeze was coming from.

Outside it met up with the old, decrepit chairs that it had replaced. They were congregated by a large dumpster. The chair tried rousing them but they were all too tired to go anywhere, their lives as chairs were over.

The chair continued on its way down the long black road, sometimes speeding up to feel the wind on its back, sometimes slowing down to feel the road under its wheels, always continuing onward.

Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Great Big Sea, MerriMac


[User Picture]
Date:October 28th, 2003 03:07 pm (UTC)

Re: hmmm

*grins* actually it came from me unloading boxes and boxes of laz-E-boy chairs getting ready for the truck to leave... and i am generally amused by the concept of inanimate objects having personalities.. and desk chairs really look like they are having a conference when you herd them all together... and they have a tendancy to make awful squeeking noises....

but freud might have something to say about my use of genders... though i am not certain the gender of the main chair.... but there is a definite sense of oppression... *giggles*
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